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These days (daze!), there is no shortage of people or circumstances that may annoyingly trigger you. Triggers are also invitations. Below are three ways I am learning to face them with grace:
#1. Level It Up Leveling up a strong trigger is choosing to behave as a modern-day alchemist, and deciding to transmute lead (something crappy), into gold (something magnificent). More modern words for this ancient practice includes "beautification" and "upcycling." EXAMPLE: As long as I can remember, I was triggered by the normalization of social shallowness + insincerity. It drove me bananas! I only found relief to this widespread conditioning by doing my transmutative part to normalize social depth + sincerity. #2. Blend It Into Your Being Walking the path to Wholeness includes being humble enough to learn from all situations, and update an operative belief that you've come to see is not fully true. EXAMPLE: Stoicism was once a strong trigger for me. It is a philosophical school of thought that promotes being unmovable by both pain and pleasure. While I easily celebrate its foundation upon virtuous behavior, and respect for natural law... as an impassioned being with strong emotions, I (wrongly) felt it invalidated my natural way of being. It seemed to restrain or dismiss divine femininity, and I was also unaware of any melanated folks advancing it. So, as a brown woman... stoicism caused me to feel twice excluded. But beneath the surface of those observations, Wisdom showed me that including certain stoic traits -- like reason, logic, resilience and stabilized consistency -- all empower me to make better use of my emotions. It liberates and energizes me to integrate the strengths of something I once saw as oppositional. #3. Rise Above It Some scenarios are too toxic or degrading to be dealt with at all. Self-love and self-respect -- (which are two active expressions of Wisdom) -- will make it clear to you when it's time to stop engaging, and start elevating. Do just like that gorgeous, fuchsia moon... and rise. EXAMPLE: I once suffered from a naive disbelief that a person could pose as a friend, and actually be able to cooperate with harm coming to me. Of course I know that all people -- including myself -- are capable of unknowingly hurting someone. But it was a horrific shock to learn, (and more than once!) that relational betrayal can be planned and intentional. I am imperfect, but I do not possess malice... so it took a long time for me to accept the reality of maliciousness in someone I once loved and trusted. When a venomous rattlesnake is revealed, be thankful for the notice that it's time to leave the snakepit beneath you. Next Up... Healing Meditations I'll be closing the year preparing + sharing a free series of healing meditations for: * Your Inner CHILD :: Lovingly revisit + a review a past, root hurt. This is never to wallow, and only to bless + release. * Your Inner ARTIST :: A fresh take on creativity, form, format, aMUSEment, imagination, inspiration + intuition. * Your Inner ENTREPRENEUR :: Get clear on the service, influence, impact, legacy + success that your wise-heart most longs for.
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The question "How are you?" is PROFOUND. But it has been watered-down to a synonym for "Hello." Forced or fake auto-responses of obligated okay-ness are expected. (And if you are going through something tragic, it really doesn't matter! Every social encounter OPENS with this well-established Ritual of Insincerity.) The question "How are you?" prompts an answer that begins with "I AM _____________." This means many times each day, you are invited to SPEAK THE MOST POWERFUL STATEMENT that can be spoken of yourself. And the socially-expected thing to do, is be QUICK + SLICK with your answer. For a change... TAKE YOUR TIME, and tell your truth. ✍🏾 |