They seem glorious, and simultaneously impossible to make sense of.
This post is to remind us both of a Foundational Principle and Practice that can seem too trite for intense and revelatory times like the ones we are currently living through.
That principle and practice is, and always will be, LOVE.
Not to be confused with cartoon-ey, commercialized caricatures.
I am talking about infinite, internal reservoirs of renewing STRENGTH that are tough enough to get you through whatever troubles or trials you may face.
There is an outpouring of information, misinformation and disinformation. They swirl about All The Realms.
The spiritual, political, historical, cosmological, dietary, religious, ethnic/racial/cultural realms. Anything that can carry a narrative or an advertisement, also carries a disruptive hot-pot of confusion.
Things you once thought were sacred, now seem... infiltrated.
Things you once believed true, now seem... trickster-ish.
And so we, to the best of our ability, sift and sort through these many presentations. And representations.
ALONG THE WAY... is it possible to eat too many "black pills"? Can you stew too long in the bitter juices of righteous rage?
I have experienced the answer to these questions to be yes.
Years ago, I was warned that anger is not a sustainable emotion. And that was followed by a lot of talk that "there is no right and wrong" and "there is no good or bad." <--- And that only confused me more, when there are so many clear and obvious displays of wrongness, and badness.
For years, I sat alone with new and disturbing insights about... you-name-it! Faith. Identity. The human experience. The relations we make and break. All of it. SHAKEN.
And that is the messy backdrop to this Great Return -- to home, to self, to love -- that I humbly hope to convey.
When all seems lost, love seems clearest.
One of the hardest inner rages I am healing from, is a lifelong and confusing relationship with Christianity. As a melanated woman, how could I not hold questions about a belief system that negated two huge aspects of my who-ness??
For those of us who have taken 'the walk' more seriously than casually, it is so unsettling! To find yourself outside the same paradigm that was given to you by Beloved Elders. Some days, I still feel every bone in me has been broken. (Talk about a Great Reset!)
Well, if you have ever wrestled, or limped, with this conundrum... you are not alone. AND, you are not abandoned!
Being mis-educated -- about anything -- can really piss you off when you first learn of it. But it is dangerous and damaging to stay seated in the piss.
Sorry to be so graphic. Just tryin' to get an unpleasant point across, quickly :-)
So while I was being hostess to all kinds of learnings and un-learnings about "the world" and "reality"... this breaks my heart to admit, but my essence had started to change in ways that I -- the true eye -- do not approve of, or resemble.
And while I still feel a sense of responsibility to continue facing What Is as best I can, I know that I can only do so as a New Being who has chosen to return from whence I came... which is Love.
Not stress. Not hate. Not distraction. Not division.
Love is more powerful and protecting than anything else. Even justified anger. The reason this is true is because, over time, anger degrades balance. While love, over time, RESTORES BALANCE.
Of course, there is sooo much more to say about this. I am just sharing with you, in real-time, as the transformation is happening within me.
I stand with you, in the certainty that perfect love does, indeed, cast out all fear. (1 John 4:18)