Disappointments. They feel like soul-snags, those moments in life when you are let down.
Thanks to resiliency, we can recover from most of them with little time and effort. We are usually good at bouncing back. But there are some disappointments that get stuck. They hover around like a persistent sadness, and if left unchecked, they will ferment into resentment... and then you'll have an even worse interior state to deal with.
So, if you've got a disappointment you've been carrying around (as I did), read on. I'm going to share with you a way I discovered to free yourself from a deep or long-term disappointment.
What it is.
Disappointment is defined as a "feeling of sadness or displeasure caused by the nonfulfillment of one's hopes or expectations."
How it happens.
Disappointment happens when you place hope outside of yourself, and either put it in the hands of someone else, or in the attachment to an outcome. This is a form of dismemberment. The reason the disappointing person or event keeps coming to your mind is because you have left an aspect of yourself with that person or that outcome-attachment. Your mind and heart want to be whole, so they keep nagging you -- rehearsing the disappointment again and again -- as a prompt to, literally, bring yourself back together.
How to heal from it.
See the disappointment in your mind. Feel it in your body. Identify the person, people or outcome-attachment that you gave your hope to. Reclaim your hope. Reach out your hands, as though you were going to grab your keys or pick up your phone, and take your hope back. You don't have to snatch, or be mean-spirited. Just be confident in knowing that the hope is yours, and it will best serve you by being with you. Not outside of you.
When you do this (and it is done simply, by directed imagination), you are sealing up the leak/crack that got created when you gave your hope away. Very sensitive people can often feel an internal shift of power as a result of taking your hope back. You'll no longer feel vulnerable to or hurt by the particular person or outcome-attachment because you have gathered and grouped your essence back together, versus having it scattered and entrusted to non-caring scenarios. Your hope is a very important part of your being-ness. Share and spend it with great care.
Did you find this technique useful? Do you have questions or comments about it? I'd love to hear from you.
The question "How are you?" is PROFOUND.
But it has been watered-down to a synonym for "Hello."
Forced or fake auto-responses of obligated okay-ness are expected.
(And if you are going through something tragic, it really doesn't matter! Every social encounter OPENS with this well-established Ritual of Insincerity.)
The question "How are you?" prompts an answer that begins with "I AM _____________."
This means many times each day, you are invited to SPEAK THE MOST POWERFUL STATEMENT that can be spoken of yourself.
And the socially-expected thing to do, is be QUICK + SLICK with your answer.
For a change... TAKE YOUR TIME, and tell your truth. ✍🏾