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My life's theme is making peace between inner + outer worlds. This means I look for alignment in relationships, work, lifestyle... and, appearance. They are all reflections. Our friends, lovers, jobs, health, hobbies and looks are all a reflection of what is rooted in us. Hopefully, our outer circumstances nourish what's inside us, and don't negate what's inside us. In May 2014 I went to Miami Beach for sun + solitude. (Kisses to fellow beach-writers!) I forgot my flat-iron. And Miami in May is about 80% humidity. So big-haired ladies know what this means... I was headed to a drugstore to buy a replacement flat-iron because my room was right on the ocean, and the moisture was already making my hair swell and puff by the minute. As I got closer to the store, I thought about how much time I'd be wasting in the bathroom, fighting nature. Why do we do that? Fight nature? Anyway, at the traffic-light (I have made several big life-choices at traffic lights for some reason...) at the traffic-light I decided, "No more heat. No more straightening. No more mighty efforts to fight the natural pattern of my hair... which is ANYthing but flat or straight." And ever since then, I have been practicing the acceptance of my nature, rather than the suppression of it. It's been a little disappointing, honestly, as some people close to me have deeply ingrained biases against unruly hair. But that's their issue, not mine. It has mostly been very healing and freeing to simply allow my hair to be what it is. I Made These To Promote Sativa Yoga...
...and to celebrate the beautiful chaos that tops so many of our heads. In addition to the notebook + travel mug, there is also a tote bag, a zippered pouch, a throw pillow + more. VISIT THE STORE. :: Thanks for SHARING with other curly yogis! ::
What Has Your Experience Been... With Curly Hair, or Self-Acceptance in general? Let Me Know In The Comments.
Brenda
9/6/2015 06:19:05 pm
When I was 18 I went into the bathroom with what I called "Huxtable Hair" and came out with a baby bush - half an inch or less of un-affected afro. My mother was the first person I saw. Her response: "Oooh-kay?" The next day at school confusion, surprise, and derision abounded. "What happened?!" "Are you okay?" "Girl why?!" One teacher disapprovingly told me I looked militant. Students I had been on good terms with wouldn't sit next to or talk to me...some were hostile or seemed embarrassed, while others added new material to their insults about my darker complexion. By the following year some of those same girls had cut their own hair, as did my mother, but I was ahead of the curve. Natural was not back in fashion in our area when the day I got scissor happy. Having arrived late to the processed hair party anyway, I had only been un-natural for 6-7 years. My hair grows with ease, and in the years when I've let it reach for the stars people have expressed disbelief that it is real (amazing that myths about the growing capabilities of kinky hair continue to thrive). Throughout college I loved the attention spent countless hours braiding and twisting to show it off. These days I just keep it low, and I still get compliments as well as questions...somtimes women say "I wish I could do that." Last year I overheard a discussion between a mom who had just come from the barber shop and her kids - a young boy and older girl. Both kids were visibly embarrassed and upset by her close shaved head. She laughed them off at first, but they were pushing her patience as their comments were approaching disrespect. It was a grocery store. I stepped up to her in line and we formed a visually stunning united front, but the kids were unconvinced. Most surprising for me was that this young boy had already been conditioned into such strong and narrow views about what was appropriate for females and males. 9/8/2015 12:29:53 am
Brenda, thanks for your courage... as a pioneering teen unafraid to lose her locks... as a supportive sista in the grocery store... as a teller of (parts of) your hair story here. Hopefully, that mom's power-presence will more greatly influence her son, than the shallow and confining boxes culture loves to cram everything into. Comments are closed.
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The question "How are you?" is PROFOUND. But it has been watered-down to a synonym for "Hello." Forced or fake auto-responses of obligated okay-ness are expected. (And if you are going through something tragic, it really doesn't matter! Every social encounter OPENS with this well-established Ritual of Insincerity.) The question "How are you?" prompts an answer that begins with "I AM _____________." This means many times each day, you are invited to SPEAK THE MOST POWERFUL STATEMENT that can be spoken of yourself. And the socially-expected thing to do, is be QUICK + SLICK with your answer. For a change... TAKE YOUR TIME, and tell your truth. ✍🏾 |
