Neurodivergent?
This 11-word, mantra-like phrase has gently guided me from anxiety
and loads of self-doubt, to a resilient + inspired life that reflects my core values.
I hope it helps you RELAX, and feel DEEP EASE in your body.
This 11-word, mantra-like phrase has gently guided me from anxiety
and loads of self-doubt, to a resilient + inspired life that reflects my core values.
I hope it helps you RELAX, and feel DEEP EASE in your body.
(Below is an illustrated transcription of the audio.)
Please find a quiet place where you won’t be interrupted for the next 15 minutes. This time is for the benefit of your mind, and the heavy load it may carry. Sit comfortably in a chair, or recline on a couch or bed.
Close your eyes, and let your body fully SINK into whatever is holding it. Breathe through your nose, and notice the sensation of gentle air on your upper lip, each time you exhale.
If you like, when you INHALE, you can imagine inhaling love, in for yourself.
And when you EXHALE, you can imagine exhaling love, out toward others.
Feel free to breathe at a pace that is natural and comfortable for you.
If you prefer a little more structure, or challenge… Inhale, while counting to 4. Hold for a count of 4. Exhale, while counting to 4. Hold for a count of 4. And repeat this loop.
This is called “box breathing,” because of its 4 even segments. You can always use it to center yourself, and keep your focus on your breath. This act alone, immediately deepens the relaxation you feel. As you breathe more deeply and deliberately, your body is becoming looser, and lighter.
As you continue to breathe in a slow, even pace, you feel relieved and supported by the sounds and words that you hear.
With your eyes still closed, and with you feeling increasingly calm, allow any counting to float away now. Feel, again, the warm, exhaled breath on your upper lip.
With your eyes still closed, bring your attention to your SCALP.
Consider all the ACTION that happens beneath your scalp. What kind of thoughts and ideas are generated there??
Now, envision your forehead. How often Is it crinkled in worry or anger?
The space between your eyebrows is called the glabella. See your glabella, lying down FLAT. A flat forehead is indicative of calm waters beneath. Sometimes, rather than telling yourself to “Calm down,” or “Stop stressing…” it is actually easier to just signal your forehead to LIE DOWN FLAT. When the skin there rises, it’s indicative of worry or anger beneath… which LEAVES LASTING LINES + WRINKLES.
You can speak kindly to the tiny muscles in your face… the tender area around your eyes… the sensitive area along the length of your hairline… the often tense area around the edges of your lips… You can thank all those muscles for holding up your face and mouth! Invite them ALL to be at ease.
And as your facial muscles untighten, so does the area at the nape of your neck, and also the sides of your neck.
In fact, this sense of relaxed well-being, cascades all the way down from your loose scalp, // relaxed neck, // DROPPED shoulders, // weightless arms and torso… and feather-light hips, thighs, knees, calves, ankles, and feet.
KNOWTICE HOW THIS FEELS.
EMBODY HOW THIS FEELS.
Eventually, you’ll be able to recall and summon this feeling ON DEMAND.
Deepening your breath, and flattening your glabella decreases both your felt + visible stress… so you might want to include both of these acts as ongoing lifestyle habits.
(HERE’S A TIP: I “trained” my glabella to lie flat by taping cardboard to the area between my eyebrows for just a few hours in the early morning, for one week. In that short time, the tiny muscles learned and ‘remembered’ the preferred state of lying down flat, rather than being lifted in skin-crinkles of worry or agitation. I was starting to develop strong “11” lines -- those two vertical lines over the glabella -- but after the cardboard trick in 2017, those lines left and have not returned.)
But THAT is not the 11 we are here to talk about, lol. That was just a beauty, and peace-of-mind BONUS. Are you ready to learn the 11 words that have helped me lead myself to a life I love?
In 2015, I was living a very different life in Illinois, than the life I now live, in the Carribbean. Despite the beautiful people in my life, and the creative and cultural richness of Chicago, my life just didn’t feel ‘true.’ It didn’t feel like the life I was supposed to be living.
I’d change jobs. Neighborhoods. Hobbies. Meditation styles. But I did not feel deeply at peace with myself.
I didn’t know the right person to take such a huge, existential problem to… because whoever it’d be, they would offer a remedy through THEIR filter… which was as prone to limitation and error as my own filters were.
The prescription, the prayer, the psycho-socio-political SLANT... each has SOMEONE ELSE’s biases and beliefs all wrapped up in whatever advice they give... on how YOU should live YOUR best life.
That just didn’t seem The Way, to me...
So, as I sat there in my acceptable-but-not-fully-right life… A PHRASE popped into my mind. The 11-word phrase is:
“THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT I AM TO BE DOING RIGHT NOW.”
By instinct, I started “using” the phrase like a silent, internal litmus test. The first thing I noticed was how often that statement was not true! It revealed a lot of INCONGRUENCE. If you are in toxicity (of any kind), and then you say that statement to yourself, the contrast will be loud.
Long-established patterns are quickly exposed, because while you’re in whatever circumstance that is not best for you, you will continually see/sense/feel -- again and again -- that X is NOT exactly what you are to be doing right now.
And you’ll know this from INSIDE you.
The process starts slowly, but a lifelong relationship and dialogue is being formed between you and You. Lowercase-y you, and capital-Y You.
Capital-Y You is less afraid and less sentimental about things, than lowercase-y-you is. Capital-Y You has no problem showing clearly the people and pursuits that don’t arouse your personal best.
A lot of the mediocrity and stuck-points in our life, is because we are trying to maintain ‘nice’ relations we have actually outgrown. This statement helps make those instances obvious.
Eventually, I started using the statement pro-actively, with an imagined traffic light:
While doing something -- sun-gazing, client-work, laundry, grooming Boca, it didn’t matter -- I’d “test” that action against the statement, and then see what corresponding light showed in my mind. BTW, I was given this helpful practice years before it was used as a manipulative device to regulate planetary fear and anxiety:
“THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT I AM TO BE DOING RIGHT NOW.”
You can use this statement as an ongoing practice of self-leadership.
(Music: “Spirit Inside,” by Lobo Loco from Free Music Archive)
- GREEN 💚 = The statement is true, and I feel freeeee to deeply dive with gusto and single-pointed focus into the task at hand, without second-guessing myself, wondering if I should really be doing something else. Fragmented, scattered thought is so much weaker than focused, directed, decisive thought. This is why distractors spend billion$ to break, disturb, and interrupt your mental focus. Don't be so hyped up on sugar and stress, that you can't see your way clearly outta dis mess!!
- YELLOW 💛 = The statement can’t be discerned at the moment, so breathe. Pause at this golden rest-stop, and re-assess soon. It won't take long. Our surroundings are not against us! And the more masterful we become, the more easily we enjoy symbiosis with our surroundings. Meaning, we mutually emit and derive good and beautiful things from our interactions with each other!
- RED ❤️ = The statement is false, so change will be required. Sometimes, we knowingly do things that are not in our best interest (like remain in unhealthy relationships, jobs and living environments). But the awareness that something is working destructively against you, is the first step to reversing the destruction. When you see a pattern of ‘red lights,’ you cannot UN-see them. As much as it hurts, don't resent seeing what is. The red’s add up. They turn into a motor of disillusionment, and you can garner more than enough steam to move yourself to -- or create -- a more suitable habitat for your precious self.
“THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT I AM TO BE DOING RIGHT NOW.”
You can use this statement as an ongoing practice of self-leadership.
(Music: “Spirit Inside,” by Lobo Loco from Free Music Archive)