Free people have a lightness of being.
They move more easily through life because they're not bogged down with tons of bags + triggers. The secret to their freedom, is decisiveness. Decide. Decaedere (Latin). "cut off." Measure twice. Then cut. Distraction. Illusion. Self-doubt. Extreme liberation calls for extreme focus. And release. Which requires, cutting. Snip, snip. Daddy-o. Lift things up, or out you go. We find, and experience, freedom by clearing away its opponents. If you like this: (1) SUBSCRIBE to my blog + (2) SHARE this post. Thanks! On my way to a downtown drugstore, I saw this dashing woman: Please meet Gwendolyn Chubb, of JustUs for Justice. If you've ever been to Chicago in the Winter, then you know we nearly all wear dark-colored coats, for whatever reason. So this bright fashionista really popped and stood out on drab State Street. "What a beautiful, black snow-bunny," I thought to myself. Only thing was, I actually said it out loud! To her! I really have a problem noticing beauty, (or succulent food, or a touching film or song, or or or) and not saying anything about it. Why do so many of us silence ourselves when we experience something we like a lot? But let something go wrong, and you can't get those negative, complaining motor-mouths to shut off. Makes no sense. Anyway, knowing how unaccustomed people are to receiving genuine praise from strangers, I quickly, semi-apologetically said, "Please don't take that the wrong way." Ha! Before we made it across the street, we were arm-in-arm, heads thrown back, laughing HYSTERICALLY. Why? Because, in that moment, we both caught a spontaneous bout of joy and celebration... in being two Black Women both humble AND confident enough to enjoy the natural exchange of a compliment. No suspicion or weirdness. No attitude or guardedness. We both presumed friendship, and flowed. And we also both needed something from CVS, so we walked in together, in a happy uproar about how there is hope for greater bonds and relations among Women. We exchanged names, hugged, and then went our separate ways.
But as I walked, I knew I would be writing about this awesome encounter. And how much better would it be if I could reward your visit, and SHOW you the stunning Black Snowbunny? I thought you'd appreciate it ;-) So, as she was checking out, I told her what I wanted to do, and asked if I could take her picture. She was just as warmly receptive to this idea as she was to my original compliment. The reason I'm carrying on about this, is to try and convey how wonderful it is to be an unassuming, warm-blooded mammal who can lightly, open-heartedly delight in another. Free of hang-ups and triggers, walls and fears. And by the time we discussed a possible collaboration, and then parted ways, I had completely forgotten about those four-alarm cramps. All because, like a burp, I allowed the bubbling up of joyful expression. Bottom-line: Delight is always appropriate. I'm curious: Do you share, or repress, verbal appreciation to others? Why or why not? Please let me know in the comments below! Thanks. Do you have any requests for me? Thanks, again, to each of you who took the time to answer my brief and anonymous survey about what you want from this blog and (soon-coming) podcast. I am truly grateful to be in community with people who are so in-touch with themselves.
Some of you expressed interest in the responses. So below I'm sharing a few of the most common answers to the fill-in questions. I do this not only to honor your curiosity, but also to melt some of the isolation we live with. Please pay close attention to how you feel when you read these answers: What QUESTIONS would you like me to answer on my blog/podcast?
Did any of the answers above resemble your own? If so, what do you think you might want to do with that sense of shared humanity... now knowing that you are not alone... that your fears and pains are shared by many others? By answering in the comment section below, you give someone else -- another reader -- the gift you just received. See how it goes round and round? Risking "TMI" also opens us to the possibility of "TLC." Okay, let's hear from YOU now. ________________________________________________________________________________________ P.S. The survey is now closed, but I am always interested to know what topics and information you feel in need of. Please toss those requests in the comments, too. This survey is quick and easy to complete, totally anonymous,
and will help me be of better service to you. Thanks very much! PLEASE CLICK HERE. In the late 70's my Mom and I lived at Oak Cove Resort as its off-season innkeepers. Living in that magical place during my formative years did something to me. Shaped my core. Caused me to fall in love, day after day, with acres of woodlands, and the gorgeous Lake Cora that was our "front yard." Sometimes Cora gave fish. Sometimes she threw paddle-boat and canoe parties. And every winter she offered her strong icy back for us to skate on. TV and toys were just not that captivating... not when stacked against Nature. A snow blizzard + dark blue mittens. One day in my second-grade class, we were cutting out snowflakes. From what I recall, we had to fold white paper, and then draw and cut-out a complex geometric design on the top layer. When we unfolded our paper, each "flake" was so delicate and beautiful. Like lace. Our teacher told us that "no two snowflakes are made the same." I looked out the window, at all the tall heaps of snow, and found her words really hard to believe. How could each flake be different when there were so many? My school bus dropped me at that long, curvy road pictured above. Everything was white as white can be. And the falling flakes were huge. I held my mitten-covered hand flat, to catch and investigate them. I held those flakes close to my face and watched. I let them melt, and get replaced by new ones. And it was true. I could see that each ice crystal really did look different. This might be unimpressive to some. But it was everything to me, seeing this outrageous display of creative genius. "How full of the creative genius is the air in which these are generated! I should hardly admire more if real stars fell and lodged on my coat." (Henry David Thoreau) Walking that road gave me my love for the tiny and the tender. Simple. Aliveness. Thanks for letting me reminisce with you. Below in the comments, I would love to hear a story about Nature somehow leaving an unforgettable impression on you. C'mon and share! |
The question "How are you?" is PROFOUND. But it has been watered-down to a synonym for "Hello." Forced or fake auto-responses of obligated okay-ness are expected. (And if you are going through something tragic, it really doesn't matter! Every social encounter OPENS with this well-established Ritual of Insincerity.) The question "How are you?" prompts an answer that begins with "I AM _____________." This means many times each day, you are invited to SPEAK THE MOST POWERFUL STATEMENT that can be spoken of yourself. And the socially-expected thing to do, is be QUICK + SLICK with your answer. For a change... TAKE YOUR TIME, and tell your truth. ✍🏾 |